shock

" ur driving is disgusting, do u know that? "
that's the part of conversation that keeps ringing in my head since this morning...
traumatized? am I? perhaps~
shocked? am I? perhaps~

I know I did not drive carefully this morning at the most weirdest round-a-bout i had ever seen, and there were so many cars and most importantly, there's a police car at the back of my wheels...yeah...for ur information, I'm a person afraid of policemen, regardless if I did did wrong or not...it's such in my blood to be afraid of police..and it sucks!

I'm not mad at the police or anyone for scolding me...but could he at least be abit more gentleman? the words he used, perhaps not annoying anyone, but it is affecting me!
I know I did wrong and my "friend" who sat next to me in the car also reminded kindly of not to do that again next time...but I'm still in shock, shock with the police's scolding...I've been crying since i got home this morning, and i even dropped tears when i was having lunch with my friends and on my way back home on the bus a few hours ago... :'(

and because of that, I got no nerve at all today, at the moment, to drive my friend to the airport after her exam...
I met my student adviser with a pair of watery and heavy eyes...
I hate myself for being so careless this morning and ruined Bob's day...
I hate myself for being such an annoying person the whole afternoon because of my mood...

However, there's noone to blame but me~ I'm the one who caused myself in this trauma...
like Bob's says, this things happen, as long as we learn from mistake.

I had always been so high in EQ but now it just seem to be collapsing...going down...in the deep~
I need more comfort at the moment...my guess...I don't think i'm going to drive these few days, and i should forever avoid that stupid round-a-bout which is weird and has 5 exits and not 4 exits like normal ones...*trying to get rid of my responsibility to make myself feels better*